Mum Me "career"

I have worked my entire adult life without putting on a uniform, using a locker, asking to go on breaks or punching a time card. I've always gotten the job I applied for and enjoyed it once I had it. My last job utilized my science degree and provided a fantastic opportunity to expand my skills and learn about a field I had never been in. Ironically, I was covering a maternity leave that ended just about the time I was to start my own maternity leave.

I was not too concerned as I had wanted to stay home with our baby girl anyhow; but alas, finances dictated a return to work. No problem right? I've spent years in the customer service industry, and just as many years in a scientific field. I reasoned that if I couldn't find my "dream" job within my field, I would grab something - anything to get me through. But the dream job was never posted and no one seemed to want me for a service job.

I went to a job fair for a local retailer. I was hired. The store seems fantastic, the management team wonderful and the job itself will likely be enjoyable. So why can't I get excited? Well, my wage will be less than I've made in the last 15 years. Because I can't afford daycare at that wage I can only work alternate days with my husband so I am earning a wage that is 45 percent of what I used to make and I'm only able to work 3 days a week. Oh boy, that means I am bringing in close to seventy five percent LESS than I made prior to having a baby. But this is family life right? These are the sacrifices we make to raise happy, healthy children. So why can't I get excited?

I have become the stereotypical woman who truly believed she could have a career and a family. Perhaps I can, but right now I need to focus on having fun while not making enough to pay the bills. I need to appreciate how lucky I am to have a healthy, beautiful family and get over my ego. I need to come to terms with the new mum-me and what that means. Right now it means I am a mother first and "me" second. I suppose that is an underlying condition of motherhood that most of us ignorantly think only lasts for the first couple months after birth.

So aside from continuing to be a wife and a mom I have one task - get over myself. I need to stop feeling like four years in school and 20 years in the workforce makes me any more special than the 18 year old kids I'll be working along side. After all, I will likely learn a few things from them along the way.